MY OUT-OF-OFFICE IS CURRENTLY ON HIGH ALERT HOODIE

Yo, listen up. This sweet/sick/dope hoodie is your official signal that I'm off the grid, living my best life, and soaking up some sun (or snow, depending on where I am). Don't even try to slide into my DMs or call me unless it's an emergency of epic proportions. I'm relaxing/recharging/unwinding hard and need some serious me time/alone time/peace.

It's not a metaphor, it's fact. I need my afternoon dose of brew like a person depends on oxygen. Honestly, the thought of starting my day without it gives funny coffee hoodies me stress. Decaf doesn't concern much, as long as that bitter flavor hits my tongue. It's not just a drink, it's fuel for my being. I am an individual of custom, and that tr